You’re a beautiful, vibrant woman that anybody would be lucky to have.” “I have a friend there in Illinois. Her name is Caitlin. I’ve known her since college. She’s a lot of fun to be around. I really think you’ll like her, she’s a lot like me. She’s 5’7’’, about 250lbs, long, black hair, big blue eyes, nice kissable lips.” “I’m going to give her your number, promise me you’ll give her a chance?” I promised her but I was scared. Scared of what this Caitlin would think of me. I’ve never been the one that is called beautiful…heck I don’t even think I was even considered pretty. I’m 5’1 and I guess I would be considered a BBW even though I didn’t feel beautiful. I have bright green eyes and auburn hair that curls to my shoulders. My lips are full and my fair skin is freckled. My breasts are large and I know that’s the first thing that men stare at when I walk into a room. Then their eyes look lower and see that I am a big girl and their eyes look away. I look in the. ”“Which I suspect is driving you just crazy enough to try something desperate.”“I won’t do that,” I said. “And what makes you think she’ll say ‘yes’?”Liz laughed, “Boys can be SO clueless at times. What do you think she wants? Why is she pushing you away?”“I can’t see Jocelyn doing that!” I protested. “Not to me!”“She was desperate enough to try to kill herself. Trust me, I know about that kind of desperation. Alcohol. Drugs. Unprotected sex. None of it worked. If you and Mom and Dad hadn’t sent me to Columbus, I probably would have killed myself, either intentionally or unintentionally. And despite that stupid bitch of a doctor insisting you and I had sex, going there was the only thing that saved my life.”“That’s a very different attitude from last year.”“Good counselors help. I know you’re still seeing yours. Mom mentioned it to encourage me to keep talking to Doctor Paulus.”“Have you told Doctor Paulus about Paul?”“She knows how I feel, but I didn’t tell her about writing.
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