As expected, there was Alan, her sixteen year-old son, reclining on the couch with his feet up on the ottoman, his laptop computer balanced precariously on his legs. And he was fast asleep. Of course. Diane shook her head. How the computer hadn't slipped off his legs and crashed to the floor she had no idea, but she'd threatened more than once that the day it did, he wouldn't be getting a new one. Because that's the kind of thing a mother says, even if she never means it.She already knew from past experience that it wasn't worth it to try and wake him. Alan slept like a rock, and at a lanky six feet tall, there was no picking him up and carrying him to bed anymore like the old days. Especially when she maxed out at about five-five without the heels on. So instead she grabbed the laptop, and carried it with her over to the kitchen counter, where it would be safer. Like Alan, it was asleep when she picked it up, the screen black. But at some point on the way, she must have bumped one. I could see I wasn't up to my normal speed but I couldn't make myself listen. I sat there helpless, like watching a horror movie when you know the two girls are going to be attacked any minute. I lost the race by two tenths of a second. My best event, the 200 meter freestyle.The guy I lost two had placed fifth in the statewide competition last year and was a good swimmer. But I know I could have beat him if I was 100%. I got lots of sympathy and claps on the back by everyone, including Coach. It could happen to anyone, you were bound to lose sometime, better now than at the championships.The thing is, I knew I blew it. And I knew why.The human mind is a miraculous thing. It can conceive things never imagined before and make them real. It can rationalize frailty so that the biggest screwup in the world can convince himself he's something special. And it can take a little data and twist it around and reach a conclusion. Not necessarily a good conclusion, a correct conclusion, but an.
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