Torn between what he had done to my family and the fact that he was my grandfather. I wanted to talk to him, to know him better, but from the chaos I had seen in his mind before the clarity of how my parents had died, I wasn't sure if he would or even could talk coherently. Still, there was one thing I had to do. I may not have been able to help put his mind back in order, but I could still help my family. I needed his memories of where they were.Just before the paramedics put Randal into the ambulance, I reached out and grazed his hand again. His memories were still jumbled but I caught glimpses of a house and a number. There were also images of my family. They were doing things to one another, trying to fulfill all the desires they had tried to get me to do to them. There was even a glimpse of my father, a look of anger and pain on his face, but I couldn't tell what he was doing or what was happening to him.Andrea caught my move and looked at me. "Any luck?" Possibly. I saw a house. ” She grinned. “I think one wants advice and the other wants company.”“That’s nice. I needed a good story. So what’s it to do with me?”She stared at me in shock. “You have your life back! You’re clear! You’re free!”“I have a life already. I am clear. I am free. What else do I have? No publications, a year lost, probably vicious rumors despite everything.” I shrugged. “Poisoned chalice, really.”“Bullshit. You had a setback, so you’ll crawl off like a whipped dog?”“Maybe I don’t want to go back. Cloud cuckoo land? Too unreal.”She glanced at my coffee table. “Finally tasting the grit of real life, no illusions, working an honest day’s work for an honest hour’s pay…and yet you read this. Drunk failed scholars dancing with the moon and the bottle makes three and saying that’s reality.”“A break from the everyday.”She looked at me closely and sighed, “Perhaps. If you want to throw it away, that’s your right if it gives you no pleasure anymore. If you want to be so contradictory.” She paused.
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