Good times!✧ ✧ ✧My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.✧ ✧ ✧When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East’✧ ✧ ✧The older I get the earlier it gets late.✧ ✧ ✧If you answer the phone with “Hello, you’re on the air!” most telemarketers will quickly hang up... ✧ ✧ ✧That moment when you walk into a spider web and you suddenly turn into a karate master!✧ ✧ ✧I don’t remember much from last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.✧ ✧ ✧ I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.✧ ✧ ✧A Large group of people is called a “No Thanks.”✧ ✧ ✧I had my patience tested. I’m negative.✧ ✧ ✧To me ‘drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. ✧ ✧ ✧Cop, “Please step out of the car.”Me, “I’m too drunk, you get in.” ✧ ✧ ✧When I say “the other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.✧ ✧ ✧I don’t mean to interrupt people; I just randomly remember. I was amazed at how much I got turned on as the couples all started talking quite openly to one another about things and of course sex . I was watching one mate Ian as he was drunk but not his normal funny self .He eventually went up dancing and I asked Andy who was next to me if he knew what was wrong with Ian. Andy was drunk and he turned round and said Ian was in the huff with his wife as she had came to the pub with no knickers on ,he had over heard them sort of arguing about it .I said I couldn't see why they would argue about something like that . Andy just sat looking at me and said he knew Ian enjoyed a wee wank with his wifes panties. I couldn't believe Andy was just sitting saying this as if he was talking about the weather .I asked how he knew and he said Ian had told him a couple of times when they were drunk. Next thing I know he's telling me about how he had enjoyed Ians wifes messy panties a few times when we went back to their house after the pub shut some nights I.
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