Itwas evidently a fishing village, as I had thought, but there were onlytwo fishing boats left using the tiny harbour, so it wasn't exactlyGrimsby. There was one pub, a post office-cum-village shop, a smallprimary school, a gift shop, an iron monger's, a fish and chip shop anda general store. The population was five hundred at the last census andit appeared that the main source of income was tourism in the summermonths, when the village's population tripled--if the weather was good.There were a few small sandy beaches at either end of the cove,imaginatively named East Beach and West Beach and from the grainypictures on the website, it all looked picturesque and rather pretty."Yes, I thought to myself, "a nice place to hide away and be myself,"Smiling, I shut the computer down then went to the bathroom, brushed myteeth and had a wee. Switching off all the lights with the exception ofthe one on the bedside cabinet, I slipped under the sheets and juststared at the ceiling. As far as I. I would beg and plead with the forces that be to make me agirl. Often I would cry myself to sleep at night, gently sobbing into mypillow so Momma and Daddy would not hear.For a long time I would wake up and rush to the bathroom, hoping uponhope that finally I would see a girl looking back at me from the mirror. After a while, I tried to stop even looking. My hope was fading. Nothingever changed for me. The only relief I ever had was the time I was atAmy's and she would treat me like a sister.Oh, the hours we spent doing homework and talking about clothes, boys,makeup, and such. It was during those times that I really felt like I waswhole. I felt really happy. But those times wouldn't last for me.Eventually I would have to go home and back to the real world, the worldof fear and hating myself.To earn money, I started letting people around the neighborhood know Iwas available to do jobs. One day, one family needed a baby sitter andcouldn't find a girl to do it. In desperation, they.
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