She was still in town, but we certainly didn't travel in the same circles.I had ninety-two acres of land, half of it being in woodland. To entertain myself I was out there most days when I had free time in the woods working or just walking. There was nothing like a gentle wind sighing through the pines to calm and blunt the bitterness I felt about how life had dumped on me.There was no hesitation going out into the woods when it was blowing a gale either. That rather matched some dark, depressing thoughts that visited me now and then. The open fields and pastureland I let out to a farmer to use. In return for keeping it up and keeping the brush pushed back to the fence lines, he could use it as his own.There was a line of sugar maples down the west side of the fields with a lane through them. At the edge of the field before the woodlot began there was a sugarhouse constructed and there was about ten acres of maple trees on land sloping toward it. Over the decades, this became a fine. I was having the problem of revealing my subconscious thoughts and desiresout in the open. One very embarrassing occurrence was when my sister'shusband Shane was preparing to take a photo of his 7 year old daughter, hiscamera was pointing in what appeared to be my line of sight so when hesaid, "Smile Princess" I thought he was talking to me. I gave a huge smileand was overjoyed at the affection and attention. My face turned red when Irealized that he hadn't been talking to me and that I had accidentallyexposed a sissy desire in front of my family. That was especiallyembarrassing since Shane is 6 foot 3 and 210 pounds. So in front of thishuge guy who is my sister's husband I was behaving like a happy little girlwho had gotten a big man to call her something special. I still don't knowwhy I did that. It happened so fast. And even if his camera was pointing inmy line of sight, why did I think that "Princess" was in reference to me?Do I secretly yearn for men to talk to me like I am a.
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