The wind has blown sand onto my clothing, I don’t bother putting them on. I pull them out of the sand and shake them off. Looking back at the ocean, I speak to Mother, ‘Scars connecting me and Emily.’ I laugh spitefully. It’s not funny at all and it really doesn’t have anything to do with scars. I did what I did and it’s over. I speak honestly to her, ‘Mother, this one’s gonna hurt.’ Mother whispers what she always whispers to me, ‘Let it be.’ I inhale deeply, hold a moment, and then exhale completely. I walk back to my car and drive home alone. ******** Three weeks later I check the announcements for her marriage. I can’t find anything. No Emily was married, but since I’m not positive what city or county she lives in, her family name, what paper it would appear, I can’t be sure of anything. Now if I read a listing for a thirtyish beauty marrying a six-foot pile of shit, I could be sure. There’s no such listing. ******** A week later I sit on the railing of the local pier jutting. I think you're leaking there.” I said, suspecting that saying it now would likely mitigate future discomfort.“My God! I'm so sorry! Some days I feel like a human cow!” she joked. “I produce many times more milk than Adrian can drink and it makes life challenging,” she said. “Thankfully, I can work from home most days and nurse him. It certainly beats pumping in the bathroom at work,” she went on, while rolling her eyes.I listened intently with, no doubt, a slightly surprised face.“Oh gosh. I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear all of this,” she said.“No!” I objected, perhaps too aggressively, “I mean, I don't mind. It is clearly important to you and I want to know about the things that are important to you.”“Aww... Thank you Edward. That is very sweet of you to say,” she said. “...Adrian is hungry. Do you mind if I feed him under a blanket?” she asked.“Not at all. Have at it, the kid's gotta eat” I said, trying to play it cool. Samantha lifted Adrian from the floor with a hop..
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