And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good for if the almighty can't enjoy a few. I got your e-mails and I’m just beside myself with joy, my dear boy. This is your best work yet. You must box those big pieces up and get them on the next plane.’ Tom stood speechless for a moment. ‘I’m flabbergasted.’ ‘Well, I am too, mon cher. I’ve been waiting for you to break out for years and do something a little more adventurous. Your compositions are fantastic. Get them here, get them here!’ ‘All right, Alastair, you’ll have them by the weekend. Thanks for the feedback, this is more than I could hope for.’ ‘I’ll be hovering at my door waiting for them. Ta, ta, Thomas!’ ‘Good night, Alastair.’ ****** ‘Wake up, daddy. Wake up.’ Tom awakened in full daylight with Amanda sitting next to him on the bed, prodding his chest. ‘Did you stay up past your bedtime last night?’ She had dressed herself in an orange top and white shorts, making him proud that he could subtract ‘clothier’ from the Father job description. ‘Daddy, what you wanna do today?’ He stirred and looked at the clock..
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