She ducked under the counter to retrieve a tall, narrow glass, which she filled with ice. After filling the glass with a little liquid from each bottle, Rosalind swirled it gently to mix the fluids together before topping the mixture off with a single cherry and handing it to Lily. "How do you like this?"Slightly nervous despite her determination to Get Drunk, Lily gazed down at the strange concoction for a couple seconds before raising the glass to her lips and taking a large swig. The drink was sweet yet pungent at the same time, the unfamiliar burn of alcohol only partly disguised by a strong fruity flavor. Lily swirled the liquid around in her mouth a moment and then swallowed. Was it her imagination, or could she already feel the buzz? "Perfect," she replied before taking another gulp."I won't bother putting these back yet then." Rosalind gave Lily a sly wink before wandering off to check on the pub's only other patrons, who were seated at a table by the window. Lily paid little. He refused all my advances anywhere near it. We simply didn’t make love anymore.I loved it. I hated it. There was an honesty to his use of me. I didn’t feel any need to statisfy him or to perform for him, either. He used me. I let him. I enjoyed it too: participating passively in my own humiliating use. Matthew seemed to get off on being particularly careless of my pleasure or ego. There was some tortured emotional satisfaction for him, I could see. The kind of smug satisfaction you get seeing your high school bully brought low. I hoped he would work through whatever it was so we could repair our lives instead of rutting like wild animals.“We can’t go on like this,” I said one night over another silent dinner. He looked at me incredulously. “We have to…”I jumped as his hand slammed down on the table. When the silverware stopped ringing, he said, “I already said what I want to say. Leave if you want. If you want to talk, talk about anything but that.”“I miss you,” I said, choking back.
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