As I reached for my plastic fork, I saw that it was resting on a little heart cut out of construction paper. Written on the heart were the words 'Jesus loves you.' After my elegant Valentine's Day dinner of unidentifiable slop and carrot sticks, we had to sit there and listen to Alice preach for a while. I didn't know she was going to preach. She started just talking about how everyone's day had been and then she pointed me out and started talking about the story of the Good Samaritan and that no matter what our circumstances, we could still help others.I thought about my lost job, my lost loves, my lost self-respect. I thought about the lost lives of that little toddler and his mother. I thought about Mildred's lost bags. And then I thought about the Valentine dinner I'd planned for Jane at Daniel's, our favorite restaurant, and how we'd never go there again. We'd even planned to take Suze with us so she wouldn't be all alone on Valentine's Day. I'd probably ruined their friendship. See, I'm still a virgin. There were a few guys who wanted to take care of that, but they were all players, only interested in me because they wanted another notch on their bedpost. If any of them had even come close to comparing to my br0ther, I might have let them, but sadly, none of them were. I didn't have much interest in boys anyway if I was being entirely honest.Most people would call my br0ther a player too, but he was nothing like that. He never pursued the girls he slept with or tried to convince them to have sex with him. Even though he had fucked half the girls in our school, they were the ones who pursued him and initiated any sex that happened. His size and sexual stamina were the most popular topics of conversation in the girl's locker room. The one right behind that was how gentle and considerate he was, never pushing a girl for more than she was ready to give, so they never felt pressured when they had sex with him.I looked down at the last paragraph again then.
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