They were both sugary and both disgusting. ‘Does anyone else want to drink this stuff?’ Crystal asked. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever drunk anything so horrible in my life!’ ‘Yes ma’am!’ said the receptionist as the hotel guest she’d been dealing with waddled off. ‘I’d be thrilled to drink a can of Myrtle’s. It’s locally brewed and I for one am proud of our local beverages.’ ‘You’re welcome to it,’ said Crystal with a winning smile as she handed it over to the receptionist who greedily guzzled down three long draughts. The receptionist regarded all four of us—and especially me—with a hostile expression she didn’t bother to disguise. She didn’t like the fact that my head was shaven any more than she liked Judy Dildo’s rock chick uniform of denim, leather, jangling jewellery and tattoos. ‘Ain’t you that lezbo punk rock group from England I’ve heard tell about on the radio?’ she asked. ‘Bristol Fashion or summat?’ ‘Crystal Passion,’ I automatically corrected her. ‘And we’re not a punk. My heart leapt. I told him I was. He said he thought he knew what I meant now."You remember Claudia?" Did I! Claudia was Davie's girlfriend. Things had cooled off in the last six months or so, he said, until she called him on Wednesday night. Urgently!"What coffee does she drink?" I asked quickly."Shit, how would I know? Some Dutch stuff she found somewhere. Can't stand it!" Davie! Her tits? Are they... ?" They're enormous, Col. You gotta see them. How's about this weekend?"So it was all arranged. Davie was bringing Claudia round to Jessica's on Saturday evening. We would make a night of it, the seven of us, if you counted Baby and Acme."There's a link between coffee and the water softener ... That much is obvious. What's not so clear is why some women aren't affected," I said to Louise as we drove down the road that Friday night. If we could find out, we could do something about it."You mean, like go into the breast enlargement business?" I hadn't thought of it from that angle, but.
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