Her problem was with herself. She had felt sex was disgusting for as long as she could remember, and she still did. But there was this other part of her, a part that didn't seem to think sex was disgusting at all. Quite the contrary.Well, that part that wasn't disgusted with sex was a disgusting part of her, she thought. "No!" said the other part of herself. She wasn't sure which part was which and who she really was.Her amalgamated self put the problem to her RAD."I used to think sex was gross." Oh, really? I never knew that."She decided to ignore the RAD's sarcasm. "I still do! I'm only going to have sex because I have to." Yes ... but you are also feeling something else." Yes..." Let me ask you something. What would happen if you changed your mind and thought sex was OK?" Then I would have been wrong before." Kara really, really didn't like being wrong."That's one way to frame it. Another way is that you were correct about yourself then. Sex was disgusting then. Now you've. As he came inside me, I couldn't help but cum too, being lost in our moment of pure bliss… 4 Months Later As I lie in this hospital bed I can't even lift my head. I don't feel like my body is mine, I don't feel like it belongs to me anymore. I'm so weak, and I know I'm going to die soon. And I want to say I'm ready to die, but I'm not. I think about everything I could have had, like a wedding, children, a job. And I could have spent forever with John. Is that such a selfish thing to ask? He walks back into the room, carrying the coffee he went out to get. He takes one look at me and he knows. Oh, God he knows. He comes and sits on the bed beside me, and strokes my hair. ''How are you feeling, babe?'' He asks. "I'm slipping John,'' I say, "Don't let me fall.'' Tears well up in his eyes as he strokes my cheek. "I'm right here, Ella. I love you." I take a deep breathe in and then out, anything to keep me going. I just want a few more minutes with him, please. "Promise me, you'll go.
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