! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of. The pretty pink blouse gave her cheeks more color, and the light blue skirt flowed about her legs as she walked. Putting a dark, light summer cloak over her new apparel, she snuck out of the keep and out towards the meadow. Looking up at the stars as she walked through the meadow, she sighed happily, scanning the dark woods ahead for signs of her ‘Knight’. There seemed to be a dark figure over to her right, back turned away from the meadow, and she walked quietly over. ‘Al?’ she asked when she was close… and the man turned with a start of surprise. No, it was not Al, this man had black hair and cruel looking green eyes, as he looked over the equally startled maid his lips curved in an evil looking smile. ‘Hello pretty maid,’ he said, quickly advancing towards her as she stumbled back towards the meadow, ‘Don’t leave… I can think of plenty of things for us to do while you’re here…’ Gwendolyn opened her mouth to scream for help… but just as she did she tripped over a protruding root.
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