I lost two of my favorite characters from the 'Hood'. 'Misogyny' Lou McAllister (as we called him) was an old, wet-brained little Scotsman with a hate on for all things female, and Mistress Donna "Domina" Wagner (or "Viagra" as we called her), who hated, among many other things, Misogyny Lou McAllister.Debra liked Lou a lot too. When he set eyes on her for the first time in my office waiting room he shuffled up to her sputtering and cursing, looked her up and down and announced his verdict: "Aye," he burred in his crusty Glaswegian accent, "an' yon's a cheesy lookin' little cunt!" So saying the skinny little troll turned smartly on his heels, brushed past us and shuffled off into the blue. Debra collapsed on a chair and didn't stop laughing until we got home some two hours later.Mistress Domina had her charms too but she was a little harder to take. She stood a good six feet tall and weighed in at at least 250 pounds. She'd worked the streets for years and was known to be rough. "Can you tell me why you picked Ms. Spears?"I laughed."I'd talked to my daughter's fourth grade class a couple days before and some girl asked me if I knew Britney Spears," I said. "Apparently, she asks everybody that. So hers was just the first name that popped into my head."He looked concerned. Oh, shit."It was just hypothetical, of course," I added hastily."Have you seen any pornographic videos involving celebrities?" he asked."Er, maybe," I admitted."May I ask you who?" he leaned forward."Ummm," I paused. I could see this whole think leading inexorably back to Julie Pinsky."All right," Drew sat back. "Let me give you some information. As a sign of good faith, so to speak. Have you ever heard of Opus Dei?" Sure," I nodded. "Right wing nut jobs. I'm sorry, are you Catholic?"He waved me off. Apparently he wasn't an overly sensitive Catholic."How about Opus Christe?" he asked."No, that's a new one," I said. "Who are they?" Left wing nut jobs," Drew said. "Implacable enemies of Opus.
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