’ I started pacing back and forth. ‘You know everything about me. We’re comfortable with each other like a pair of old shoes.’ I sighed. ‘I need more. I need it all. I need to be swept off my feet! I need to be romanced and I’ve never had that! I want to be desired and fawned over . . I want to be told I’m beautiful.’ I stopped pacing and tried not to cry. ‘I want to be loved so badly it hurts. It hurts a lot. But I can’t let myself believe that just because you’re having some kind of mid- life crisis or worse. . . feeling lonely, suddenly you love me.’ I was starting to get angry now. ‘I’m just supposed to fall into your arms in gratitude because you finally feel something and take pity on the fat girl!’ ‘Stop it!’ It was his turn to be angry. ‘I don’t feel sorry or pity. And I don’t expect you to just fall into my arms.’ He came up to me to look me in the eyes. ‘I’ve been an idiot.’ He raised my chin to make me look into his eyes. ‘I have always loved you.’ ****** I was more in love. And you and Bill are the only guys to have seen me naked. I’m not sure I can handle Kurt, Eduardo, Dave, Chris, and Jamie all seeing me.”“Then wear a bathing suit. Nobody will criticize you. I bet you anything you care to bet that you won’t be the only one doing that.”“Are you sure?” she asked.“Yes. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with,” I said. “That’s my rule about everything. And don’t let someone pressure you into something you don’t want to do.”“Can I ask a question?” Jackie said with an impish grin.“Sure,” I chuckled, fairly certain of what she was going to ask.“Does Stephie have a monopoly on you or can I occasionally cut in?”“No, she doesn’t have a monopoly. And I’m not trying to build a harem, Jackie!”“Why not? All the unattached girls seem to be willing to fool around with you!”“Not you too!” I groaned.“Me too?” she asked, sounding confused. “What are you talking about?”“Just that several girls have suggested that I simply live in a group relationship lifestyle for.
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