I'm going to work, its another typical day, dealing with the ex, my genderissues, and .... other things. I look for something to listen to on theradio, just flipping through my pre-sets, when I hit the local sportsstation. They are talking about the night's football game, and I relax,letting my attention get back to my driving.Suddenly, I realize they have changed topics, and now they areinterviewing a man who accusing the basketball coach at a large Americanuniversity, claiming that the man abused him for years.I know I should turn the station, but my hand is frozen as he describesthe betrayal of trust, his powerlessness, the lack of help, and I can feelmy mind going dark, going back into my own past.I get to work, and from the outside, it looks like nothing is wrong. Imove, I talk, but my attention is totally drawn inward, as I find myselfhelplessly repeating the horrible words from my past."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want,. We had been at the hotel three days, making love during the warm nights, the windows open to catch any slight breeze. It was a satisfying if not a particularly soul shaking variety of love making, something like that which long married couples might indulge in. It came as a shock to realise that Miriam and I had been married for over 7 years, and that in fact September would be our eighth year of wedded bliss.However, next day on the little beach of Tossa del Mar, I fell madly in lust with my wife, and our love making became volcanic. It had started out much the same as previous days on this holiday; a lingering continental breakfast followed by a stroll around the village, and finally arrival on the beach dressed in our beach wear. Miriam wore a terry cloth beach robe over her bikini as she would have caused a traffic accident walking around without some sort of covering.Miriam had gone in swimming; she was a very good swimmer (plenty of buoyancy) and I sat in a shaded deck chair.
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