Woman: Excuse me, sir.Me (calmly, but still annoyed): Yes?Woman: I've noticed that you seem to be the only one that's not been turned on by my appearance. You've barely even looked at me.Me: Those idiots need to get runned over by a big tank or something.Woman: What's your name?Me: David.Woman: Heather.We shake hands while I try to calm down.Me: Look...I don't have anything against you, Heather. In fact, you're very pretty. It's just that I'm not like those jerks that lust and go crazy at seeing any nude woman I see. That's why I'm not turned on by your appearance. You're a pretty woman, not a piece of meat.Heather: I don't think anybody has ever said that to me before.Me: Shocker.I notice a new crowd of people approaching.Me: Oh, great...just what I need. Where's a Velociraptor when you need one?The crowd gathers around us and takes pictures of us. They try to get Heather to seduce me and even attempt to get her to "go down on me". I shake my head and feel my my forehead heating. I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and when I tried to sit up I found myself lying naked between two naked men. One of them was Ron and the other was named Clive or Claude or something like that. He was apparently a friend of Ron's. I got out of bed and made it to the bathroom where I swallowed four Advil. I looked at myself in the mirror and there wasn't any doubt about what had happened during the night; I had love bite and hickeys all over my neck and chest. A quick inspection of my vagina showed that it had been used and I could only conclude that Ron and his friend had taken turns on me."When I came out of the bathroom Ron was sitting on the side of the bed and he patted the spot next to him indicating that he wanted me to sit down next to him. I told him to get the hell out of the house and he laughed and said that wasn't any way to speak to my new boyfriend. I told him again to get out of the house before I called the police and then you, but he just laughed.
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