Her hair was combed but had, had little care beyond that.No honey, Connie said. She's gone camping with Laura and her family. Sensing Leahs pain she said, do come in though I'm making cookies. Would you like to help. Connie felt ridiculous saying this but it was the best she could come up with.With tears in her eyes Leah said, oh Mrs. Lee I like you very much but I don't want to bake cookies today. It just doesn't cheer me up any more. Connie put her arms around the young woman to comfort her. Abruptly Leah raised her head from Connies shoulder and kissed her on the mouth. Realizing what she had done she pulled back and said, oh no now you won't like me anymore and burst in to uncontrollable sobs.Pulling Leah back into her arms she said oh honey I don't mind and she placed her lips on Leah's and said, see it's OK. Kissing the girl again she felt herself getting aroused. Oh god she thought this woman turns me on. Although Leah's body style was not in vogue at the high school level. I blacked out on the floor soon after… As in episodes before, a traumatic event had slowed down time and burned an indelible memory into my mind. I will never forget the look on Maureen’s face as she stood in the doorway to my room: The tears across her red cheeks…her runny nose and swollen face…the look of terror. In the days that followed, I became more angry, confused and sad. No explanation had ever been given why it was so bad to touch myself. We had to be content with ‘evil’ and ‘disgusting’ as adequate reasons. Even at 12 years old, that wasn’t going to suffice in order to put away my curious nature. I was shocked to find out that Maureen was touching herself. Despite my parents’ best efforts and occasional beatings, I was addicted to masturbating and simply couldn’t stop. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much that the pleasure it brought far outweighed any beating I received when I got caught. It never crossed my mind that Maureen might be doing the same. I assumed.
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