"I had cringed at the comment, and noticed her put a pale pink rucksack intothe boot without explanation. Not that she had explained much at all to methe whole morning, refusing to tell me where we were going or how long itwould take by swatting away my questions with a dismissive wave. It wasclear she intended to make my descent into childhood as full as possible,and I feared the events of the day ahead, still unknown to me, wouldprobably only confirm this.The truth was that I felt thoroughly defeated. The events of the last fewdays were racing around my mind in a horrible cavalcade of torment and theshame of it all had taken over my emasculated body. The overridingembarrassment was of Fran seeing me in the pink frock the night before,being bottle fed by a nine year old girl. How was a wife supposed to dealwith that image? How was she supposed to ever look at her husband againknowing that he had stooped to such depths? If before I had only sunk to anocean ridge, then last night I had. In the larger context of my extended family, over the years, I get the feeling that this was a cycle that had repeated itself for several generations (remote Australian rural farming family if you get what I mean).I hope it was broken with my generation, as soon as I reached an age where clarity kicked in, I stopped. I did try a couple of times to get into my teenage female cousin's pants and we certainly flirted a bit. She always said she knew something about me and came close to confessing that info a couple of times - what? That I and her brother used to suck each others cocks and rub ourselves against each other till we came? That was as far as it ever went and he was certainly complicit - but we stopped. I've never done anything remotely like that since then, with family or other. I'm an adult now and in much better control of myself. Oh yeah, I'm bi. Did I mention that? I can't remember a time when I wasn't. But I prefer the term `Hetroflexible' to describe myself, I couldn't.
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