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"I know how it happens, but doesthat automatic response also trigger other things, like sexual excitementfor instance?" Um, a little," I answered."And as part of your nature as a submissive male, I understand that manyof you are sexually excited when you are being humiliated by a dominantbecause of your weakness? Because you are less than manly? Is that truefor you, Stevie? Is being made to feel weak and less than manlyhumiliating in a way that also sexually excites you?" Um, it is, it's, it's just how it affects me," I said nearly in tears,ashamed of admitting that I got excited from the humiliation of beingforced to openly admit and live based on my desire to submit and bedominated. Worse was that I was becoming excited because of herhumiliation of my desires."I can see that," she said, pushing her glasses up as she looked intentlyat me. "Is it happening right now? Is making you admit these thingshumiliating in a sexually exciting way?" Um, yes, it is, yes," I admitted,. John took a deep breath and exhaled, then continued on.“I’m reaching the end of my rope. Is this how It will be for the rest of my life? I know I need to do something, but I don’t know if I have the strength. I had an internet girlfriend, for a year and a half, and we… I…”He choked up. He didn’t think it would be this hard. It had been eight months already.“I never felt more alive, more in love, more… wonderful and complete. She was the best thing that ever happened to me…”He had to stop again, to try and regain his composure. Not changing his position, he wiped his eyes with the back of his right hand while still holding the wine glass.“We, my Internet girl… aren’t together anymore. Not for awhile now. But that… that was the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I even considered… driving my car off the road more than a few times. Fortunately I was consulting at the time and didn’t have very good life insurance, so I stayed on the road.”Cheryl came up behind him and placed her hands.
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