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Santa's in enough trouble without implicating himself in any more shenanigans, if you catch my snow drift. See what I did there? Combining snow and drift? Don't worry, Santa's not quitting his Christmas Eve gig any time soon." So anyway, two weeks later, Santa finally starts feeling better when I get a letter telling me that one of my products, 'The Automatic Vibromatic All In One Sex Tool', was being recalled, not because it didn't work, but because it was considered to be too dangerous. Now if you've never seen one of these things, it's a sex toy that has every possible function you can imagine. Essentially, you'll never need another sex toy, because it does everything. Call it the Swiss army knife of sex toys. In fact, it has a Swiss army knife function, which includes a handy corkscrew. Now I will admit putting the chainsaw function button next to the vibrate button wasn't the smartest idea Santa ever came up with, but come on, what's so dangerous about vibrating a tree down? And. But I did my hair and makeup the same way I see my sister look when she's headed to the mall.. I spent a good hour after perfecting my makeup skills and I loved the way it felt brushing makeup onto my face something about it was just anghellic... I was just finished doing my makeup and began fitting this skin tight dress on when my uncle walked in the house. He's my mom's younger brother by near 20 years so he's a younger handsome fellow. I used to spend a little bit of time with him but as of late he's been stressed and working constantly. He helps my mom around the house when he can and that's why he has a key. He expected no one to be home, just like I did. So he was headed towards my sisters room for some reason but I didn't hear him and his first reaction was,"Hey babe" I froze. I had no reaction, and nothing I could do.. he walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder... "What no lotion today babygirl.." I coughed and he asked if I had a cold and I finally got the courage to.
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