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I’m so excited!” Her hand stole into my lapand cupped my crotch. “But I’m going to be really,really big. None of these women are nearly as big asI’m going to be! I’m going to be big and then bigger!Bigger than Candy! I’m taller than she is so I cancarry a bigger load!” Her hand was patting andsqueezing and pulling at me through my pants!“Hey, watch it. If you get me all excited I’ll neverget out of here,” I protested. “I can’t walk throughthe mall with a hard on. People will point!”“Well, I want you hard! So let’s go home now! I’ll getyou hard and soft so fast you’ll be dizzy from blooddeprivation of the brain!” she hissed.Back we went to Hillary’s apartment. As usual Mrs.Murgatroyd’s daughter was sitting on the front porchsteps as we approached. And as usual, she beat a hastyretreat into the house when she saw us coming.“That little girl is so. “Now you’ve done it friend,” I said. “Just stand still and everyone stay calm, while I try to save your life.”As soon as I said that, Connie rattled off some real Comanche and jiggled the knife a little. The big man looked at me uncomprehendingly, so I made up a translation.“She said that she was going to cut out your tongue for insulting her husband. Well, that’s better than I hoped because the last man to insult me is a eunuch now. I’m afraid you just made a grave error, amigo, because my woman is the daughter of the Comanche War Chief, Knock-a-Homma, bravest of the Braves. She is my woman because she was too mean for any of the braves of her tribe. I lost a bet with her father and had to take her. Her Indian name is Fawn Who Castrates Grizzlies.”The man’s eyes grew as big as tea saucers when Connie reversed her grip on the knife, dropped her arm, and pressed the point up into the man’s genitals. I had to turn my head to keep from cracking up as the cowboy unsuccessfully tried to.
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