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33 years old, living with this wine breath from Hell, and assaulted on a daily basis by what amounts to alcoholic freebasing stalker chicks, my life is a nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone. The only people that seem to be immune are the rest of my family. Anyone who's a closer blood relative than a fourth cousin can't smell the magic mouth and doesn't taste the wine, though that MIGHT have something to do with the fact that its a family tradition that's more iron clad than federal law that we only drink grain alcohol or mead (brewed honey) if we're going to drink at all...Now, you might be wondering what I do for a living with a curse like this? Nope, not a sommelier, I'd be fired in under an hour: no, not a cop or P.I., no way you keep a low profile with this curse: no not a politician, I'm basically a walking scandal, but you're getting closer with those last two. Bingo: tabloid reporter! Aren't too many of those rags that have actual reporters on staff, but there's a few, but. Much to my surprise she sat downbeside me. I looked over at her and she smiled andsaid, “hi.” I returned the greeting. She leaned overclose to my ear and whispered, “read this.” I looked down and she was holding out a hand-writtennote for me to take. Her hands were delicate, but herfingers were long and the nails manicured short, neatand colorless. I took the note and opened it. Sheturned her head away from me and read her Wall StreetJournal. I read the note: Hi. I’m Josie. My husband’s name isTom. You are? (there was a blank spot here for me tofill in my first name, I chuckled and penciled in“Bob”.) I need to talk to you about something. It’skind of personal and private. Could you spare a fewminutes on your way to work this morning and talk tome? If so, just follow me on the way out and we’ll talkwhen we get away from the station. It was signed “Josie” in a clear, fluent hand. I wrote“sure thing!” on.
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