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“You think this is amusing?” raged Valencia.“Sorry, Mother. No, it’s not amusing. But I thought it would be ok, because it’s been years since Opus Dei members were required to take the oath of chastity. So I haven’t broken my word. I’ve kept my vows.”“You are an idiot,” snapped Valencia. “Your Opus Dei vows are intact, but what about basic Catholic doctrine? What about Casti Connubii? You’ve committed a sin. Perhaps a mortal sin! Bree, sit back down and start taking notes again. Wait until the Prelate hears about this!” Valencia sputtered and fumed for a while, and then composed herself so that she could continue the interview. She walked Jonathan through his story, and in less than an hour had more or less the complete account of Jonathan’s relationship with Geeta. She was the perfect listener, never interrupting, gently guiding Jonathan. As Jonathan’s tale unfolded, the only sound was the soft scratching of Bree’s pen as she took notes.“But have you been careful?” she asked. “Does. 'The Ace you picked, I have for thee, Not one task;- you have three.The first we say you may not like, We're going to clean your dirty pipe.Loads of water, in it flows, Try to take it in one go.Two quarts of water, if you can, You should take it like a man.Rubber shorts on, if you please, They are tight, big big squeeze.Don't forget your trousers too, Jacket, tie and your shoes.With these on, you have to run, Round the garden, three times done.Sixty seconds it should take, Do try hard, don't be late.Buttocks clenched, you must not poo, You must save it for the loo.And At the end, when you're done, End of garden, the lights are on.From the footpath, you're in view, Now you can go for your poo, The trench has been dug, just for it, You must cover it in shit.When your finished, do get clean, For shit on you is just obscene.But turn me down if you think, You really can't control your stink.Or maybe if you are not that bold, Or you're scared of the coldThere could be something far less.
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