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. in a sardine tin ‘Cos the Lord don’t let ... no fishy ones inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in an apple tree ‘Cos an apple tree... ‘s got roots you seeOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on roller skates ‘Cos you’d roll right past ... them Pearly GatesOh you’ll l never get to Heaven ... in a Playtex bra ‘Cos a Playtex bra ... won’t stretch that farOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with a bottle of gin ‘Cos St Peter won’t let ... no spirits inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on water skis ‘Cos the angels don’t ... like those hairy kneesOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with powder and paint ‘Cos it makes you look ... like what you ain’tOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in a strapless gown ‘Cos a strapless gown ... might fall right down”There were many more verses than I’ve listed here. Eventually, Fred strummed a final chord, and rested the guitar.Once we had got our own breath back, we praised him, asking him how the heck he remembered quite so many of the verses.“Partly practice,. Without saying anything, I Walked passed her opening the cupboard to acquire a handful of tools to take with me, just in case I need to make any final adjustments to the car.“Great you don’t even understand English!” She shouted with an angry expression on her face.Getting into the car, I started the engine revving it a few times. Hitting the button for the window to go down, I shouted out so she can hear me. “I take the car to wash up boss!” Trying as much as I can to sound like someone from abroad, who speaks little English. Putting the car in first gear, I released the clutch while stepping on the accelerator; the wheels gave out a loud screech as I approached the end of the driveway. Just before turning, I looked at the rear mirror. Beauty was standing there with her hands open. She said something which I couldn’t hear. But by the movement of her lips, I am sure it was. “What the fuck!”The garage I took the car for the test was in Welwyn Garden City. It was a family friend of the.
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