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Hearing all the noise suddenly cut off like that, Bigfoot knew that whichever one of his companions had been out there was certainly dead now. But maybe if he was lucky, the biker could still get some payback on the guy responsible, if he could get close enough. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting to make sure things had really calmed down and to make sure he wasn’t walking or rather crawling into an ambush himself, Bigfoot started slowly crawling forward. Bigfoot at last found a spot hidden behind an old rotted out tree stump. Looking out into the clearing where he’d left the women earlier, he could see Sandy’s body lying there across from him, just inside the opposite tree line. Looking all around, he couldn’t see any evidence of Sarah or the guy who was chasing them. Though he desperately wanted to go out there and make sure that Sandy was really dead (even though he felt sure that she was), he wasn’t nearly that dumb. After all, whoever had arranged all this had to. Someone down there had been reading my columns, it seems. I patiently explained that I was known as the Bearded Lady for good reason; I had a full, dark, bushy beard and was unlikely to be seen as a woman.The only response was: "Hey - kinky. That's great! The audience will love it."So I agreed, after all I consider myself second only to Rush Limbaugh as a font of wisdom on all subjects, and even he wouldn't be as well informed as I on crossdressing. I dug the wig out of the recesses of closet, found something to wear in my $9.99 or less wardrobe that matched my reddish beard and went forth unto the Studio, suitcase in hand. You didn't think I would try and go dressed, did you? The makeup person didn't bat an eye at me, but then there was a 4' tall green alien on my left and two Elvis clones on my left, one old and one young - remarkably like the stamp images.It was fun waiting in the Green Room, that's the place where the guests wait until it's their turn to go on camera. I wasn't.
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