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The little devil has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant." Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the bartender."It's not," said the man. "The little bastard stuck a pin in all my condoms."This one is compliments of BobLife's Demerit System ... In the world of romance, one single rule applies:MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!Do something she likes, and you get points.Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects.Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:SIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed. (+1)You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)But return with Beer. (-5)PROTECTIVE DUTIESYou check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)You pummel it. Mum and I had moved home to another town, close to where her sister, my aunt Anita, stayed. We had taken a top floor apartment, two bedrooms and an open-plan living room with adjoining kitchen.The apartments was six in total, where mostly older people lived, and one in particular, a Mr Johnson, had taken a shine to me, and that was putting it kindly, mum summed it up nicely, by teasing me by saying, 'He had the 'Hots' for me', though why a man in his late fifties could be interested in a girl as young as his Grand-daughter.Mum's love life had taken a big step backwards too, she was in her mid-thirties, still a very statuesque woman with a voluptuous figure, firm breasts, and a bum to die for, but she had gone reclusive, since she and daddy parted, and no amount of cajoling from her sister, would tempt her into another relationship, or even the occasional, 'One night stand', as aunt Anita suggested, 'Your mother needs a good cock occasionally', she said once when she was drunk, 'she.
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