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My English teacher, Miss Kelly Jay, has a different opinion about that. She's one of those prim and proper members of the Christian Coalition. Ultra-conservative. She looked like one of those school teachers from the old days. You know the kind - blouses buttoned up all the way to the neck, skirts that went down to the tops of her shoes, hair tightly done in a bun, wire-rimmed glasses on a silver chain, gold crucifix around her neck. She HATES Playboy and everything it represents. To her, I might as well wear a shirt that had the letters 666 in dripping red blood on the front.Miss Jay and I have had our differences before this, but when I started wearing the Playboy shirts it seemed to validate every fear and suspicion she had about me. She's asked me not to wear the shirts to school, and we've gone a few rounds with the principal and school superintendent about this issue.I've always won, but only because the school didn't want to get into a free speech lawsuit. But that hasn't. I nodded again.Wednesday night, eve of G-Day, Louise Lane called Pru at home. “I see, Louise. No, don’t be silly, don’t even think about it.”She looked at Peggy, “Flu.”My mother said, “Ms. Sloane.”Auntie Pru nodded, “Of course,” and looked at me, “Fucking mouth closed.”Gibraltar Soup, which no longer makes much soup, or maybe they do, it’s just not as important as when Grandpa Gibraltar first started selling blue and white cans of tomato soup out of his station wagon to grocery stores. Now it’s trucks and mattresses, and who knows what all?Well, Ms. Sloane would, she’s one of those people who knows things. You know the type.The meeting, in their downtown office building, called, logically enough, The Gibraltar Building, started right on time. The conference room on the 13th floor at 13th and Baltimore. I started to share some insider intel — there are 13 knots in a hangman’s noose, but remembered Auntie Pru’s advice just in time.Meg Gibraltar was about 60 and still seemed to have all.
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