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The bit about wives well there`s a ring of truth in that just at the moment, you see Stanley and myself are in the dog house, as we were out patrolling a day or two back when we came across two maidens in distress. Anyway, we fixed up their motor and they were …well grateful, yes, I spose that`s the word. Either way neither of us realised that my misses was sat with Stanley`s up on our balcony a mile or so away with that bloody old telescope, my old uncle Ben had left us in his will and which my silly mare was demonstrating to Stans misses! Apparently, they watched our bare arses bouncing about in the long grass with the young ladies for a considerable time… hence as a penance Stan and I were committed to shopping… each fortnight for a ruddy year and hence neither of us were particular about hurrying home! It wasn’t that we were adulterous felon`s, or that we screwed outside the group, god knows we shag one another`s wives up here, its par for the course…no it was the time we took…. Carole throws the box off the side of the sleigh. Foo-Kin Ting: AIIIIEEEEEeeeee! Carole: But how are we going to find our way now, what if we get lost? Mary Christmas: Dont worry, we have the Time And Relative Dimensions In Space technology fitted to this sled. We negotiated the use of it from the Gallifreyans in the fifteenth century, so we have all the time in the world to do it. Good job too, you should see how much more there is to do now, compared to then. Wed never get all the presents on board else either. And we have a cloaking device from the Romulans, so no-one can see us while we do it either, and thats without the Magic Of Christmas, that old festive enchantment that the whole world feels tonight. Well, the ones that arent drunk out of their minds feel it, anyway. Carole: So what do we do now? Mary Christmas: We go all around the world, spreading happiness, spreading joy, spreading goodwill, spreading gifts, spreading good cheer&hellip, Carole: We sure do a lot of.
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