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Lastly, I slip the sparkling dress over my head, careful not to touch my made-up face. I reach for the wig, securing it firmly in place to finish my look. I enjoy quite a bit or mirror-time when my ensemble is complete. Seeing myself. Feeling the elegance adorning my body. All of it fuels my energy for my performance. Right before I make my way to the stage, my high heels go on ... and they fucking hurt my feet. I'm ready for another performance and adrenaline rushes through my veins. Each night is different, never knowing what kind of audience awaits me. What a rush! The announcer calls my name and the applause quickens my steps.I notice her in the middle of "Love is a Lonely Place Without You". It can't be? Can it? Jess? I have to know for certain and descend the steps to sing to her table. As I approach, my suspicions are confirmed. I would know those big blue eyes anywhere. Fueled with "Cher" confidence, I take her hand and sing into those eyes I never expected to see again. As I. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”The Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”Officer: “Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”“Aggressive and hostile?”“Yes, Sir.“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole?”“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do!”How often does a lawyer get to convict his own client?This one is compliments of BillTwo Irish men were digging a ditch in.
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