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"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle."The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th. Wonder Woman would enjoy the abundant leg room of her private jet and land it in a semi-secluded air strip in Japan. She was on her way to visit the Sailor Scouts. Wonder Woman wasn’t so much excited as curious. She was not 100% sure she could believe that high school girls could fight off hordes of evil characters, and certainly didn’t approve of what she felt was inappropriately revealing outfits for girls of that age. But all that was going to change. Wonder Woman was going to take this opportunity to steer these girls in the right direction, and to make them into better and classier super heroes. Wonder Woman put her jet into autopilot and took out the invitation she received from the Sailor Scouts. Dear Wonder Woman/Diana It would be an honor if you would visit us. All of us Sailor Scouts have heard of your adventures from the past and we cannot wait to meet you in person. It seems as if you have a lot of free time on your hands, so I (on the behalf of all the Sailor.
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