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If you were your sisters, or your brother—do you know how many times I threw them out of the house?’ I shrug, typical adolescent defiance. I burn with a hatred for him that my mind can’t even fathom. I long to be thrown out—I want freedom, and escape, I want more, always more than I have, and can’t have it, and I feel trapped… My mother is sitting in her chair, her legs folded under her, looking pale and tight-lipped as usual. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window, and I see her face in mine and swallow hard. I am remembering—and I don’t want to remember. ***** ‘Do you love me?’ I asked him. When he kissed me, I could taste my tear as it slipped between our lips. His mouth pressed harder in answer, and I ran my hands along his back, letting the feeling fill me. His hands were urgent, and he said my name against my mouth, my cheek, my neck, whispering it over and over, lower and lower, down the V of my blouse. He fumbled with the buttons and stopped when it was undone,. No harm there right? That's what I thought. I got up there as soon as I could and the first 3 nights went pretty good. We went out each night and went back to her place for a little fun time. The next night she wanted to hang out with a group of her friends and at first I was a little upset since I drove all the way up and found that I wouldn't be with her. But hey, it's just one night, or so I thought. She went out and had her girl's night out and well that left me all me all alone at her place. I decided to go for a walk and have a couple drinks to pass the time. I started walking and stopped in front of some bar. 'Hey, 75 cent drinks, not bad, let me try this place.' I walked in and had a seat at the bar. I ordered myself a beer and just sat back and began to drink. I looked around the place. Not a bad place. I liked all the neon lights. Then I noticed something. Two guys sitting with one arm around another. Then another two male couple. I turned my head and there was no girl.
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