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Rather, she was brought over close to me and forced into a kneeling position on her knees. The creature suddenly lifted my head up and then lowered it into my sister?s lap. Another tentacle grabbed Stacy?s wrist and pulled her hand over to me and placed it on my cheek. She held it there and as I started crying in pain, she squeezed and rubbed my cheek sympathetically. Through my terrible labor pains, I realized in shock that the creature had placed Stacy there to comfort me through my labor. The creature was perhaps not some mindless anemone which only acted on instinct. I realized it was more advanced than we had thought. Then an intensely painful contraction wracked my body and I stopped thinking about the creature. Instinct took over and I suddenly began bearing down, pushing the baby out of me. I felt a sharp searing pain and I screamed in agony. Stacy grabbed my hand and tried to whisper soothing things in my ear but I barely noticed. Suddenly Stacy gasped and I saw her looking. Or various stars of stage and screen that also frequent the swathes of lush grass and verdant valley. No, they, (professional golfers and aforementioned), pall into insignificance when your average club buddy is talking about the courses they have played around the world.Such as:St Andrews? Oh Yah, I've played there. Wonderful course and quite difficult you know. Meaning they were totally embarrassed, played like a novice and probably lost a dozen balls in the process. But, at least they can say they've played there.St Mellion? Oh of course, dear boy, play there all the time.TPC Sawgrass? Yep, been there too. (Only on the Nintendo though).And so on. Lying bastards!I am no exception, sad to say. Related below is a blow by blow account of my miraculous game at Hindhead Golf Club, in the wilds of Surrey. Did you know it's a qualifying course for the open? Well it is or was and that should give you a clue about the degree of difficulty faced. (Bet you're hooked now eh?)Now, I am not.
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