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But as Bobby became more abusive, particularly after a night of heavy drinking, I found myself escaping by replacing the unattainable movie stars I fantasized about, with the black strangers I saw all around me in real life.My obsession grew to the point where in my mind, I practically undressed every black man I saw. I fantasized about them fucking me anywhere, anyplace, anytime. I guess part of it was that my husband didn't want me anymore; he liked to hit me, so my head told me I deserved to be taken and used like a slut.It became very complicated, a sort of mixture of the need to be punished mixed with the sexual arousal that was all but consuming me. When a black man looked back at me, that made me feel better. He wanted me; why didn't Bobby?So I began to frequent places where I would be able to see or interact with the men in my fantasies. The local supermarket was first on my list. Black teenagers used the car park as a meeting point and the brazen way they looked at me when I. "Are you kidding? None of these guys want to keep an eye on those cattle at night. They have no idea that this room is as nice as it is. George Murray had this job last year, and he didn't even want it this year."Standing in front of Maverick, her smile softened. He could see her expression change, and the funny thing was, he could feel the same look on his own face. There was an undeniable and mutual attraction. He wasn't imagining it. His cheeks began to feel flushed, and Alana reached over and took his hands. Alana's palms were sweaty, and as they stared at one another, they began to lean in and shared a small but meaningful kiss.The moment passed and they both stepped back, awkwardly surprised by their spontaneity."Dinner's at six, so I'll save you a seat, okay?" she asked, and waited for an answer, but Maverick couldn't speak. He wasn't used to talking to girls, let alone kissing one, and was overwhelmed with emotions. "Are you okay?" Alana asked, sincerely. She was afraid she'd.
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