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’ Ryan was going through his phone, checking for the perfect song to sing for Lauren. I could see the tension on his face, carefully scrutinizing each song to find that special one. His eyes flashed what looked like defeat, but I couldn’t be sure. I had to help the poor guy out. ‘Tyler, let me get your pack and lighter,’ I said. ‘Ill buy you another one tomorrow.’ ‘You’re gonna smoke that whole pack?’ ‘No, just to replace what I take.’ He handed me his smokes and lighter, I took it and turned to Ryan. ‘Lets go suck a paper dick.’ He looked at me with the most mortified look. ‘Do what?’ ‘Smoke man, lets go smoke. I need to talk to you.’ ‘Oh,’ he said with a sigh of relief. ‘Ok, I’m coming.’ We went back outside, his mood a bit more dour than earlier. We talked as we smoked, mostly about how he felt about Lauren and his taste in music. When he listed some bands he liked, it clicked in my head. ‘I got this, go be lovey dovey with Lauren,’ I said. ‘You sure?’ he asked nervously. ‘Oh, I’m. I was pissed when Banzai requested, "Tatiana, will you please check the trashcan to see if the French fries are still there."She went to the trash can and saucily reported, "No honey, the French fries are no longer in the trashcan."Banzai glared at me and demanded, "Jack, I thought I told you not to eat them."I knew better than to lie to Banzai this time (lately he'd become lethal at detecting lies) so I answered, "Well I was hungry and didn't want good food to go to waste. You know there are starving kids in Africa that would have been happy to have those fries."Banzai derisively laughed and shot down my reasoning, "Then you should have sent the fries to them rather than eating them yourself and packing on even more weight. Just remember, if you get too fat for your dress blues, you're going to have to wear a suit when you marry Masha because there's no place here in Russia to buy larger 'blues' and I don't think the tailors could let the existing ones out anymore."Shit! I hated it.
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