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She seemed to like it. You can never really tell with women. When we where done, she rolled over on top of me and pressed her lips against my prick. She then looked up at me, as if asking for permission. I would have liked to die, man, no girl has ever done anything like that. I mean she looked so innocent and sweet. I just smiled and she sucked me off. Now, don’t think I feel guilty or something because I fucked the girl. Hell, it has been three years since I’ve had sex, I’m not going to feel guilty if I get a little ass for being a nice guy. She wasn’t tight, not as tight as I would expect a young girl like that to be, but it was something. She snuggles up to me and mumbles ‘I feel safe with you,’ or some bullshit like that. I just laid there stroking her hair until we both fell asleep. When I woke up, she was gone. The girl had left a short letter telling me that she didn’t deserve a man like me, and all that bullshit. She took like twenty dollars out of my wallet and told me in. To always, always, be. I visited therapists and even spent some time in a mental hospital, trying to fix myself. Trying to get better for him. To be worthy of him. To be good enough. I took the pills they gave me. I worked on my ‘coping skills’. We even visited a marriage counselor. I promised to be a good wife, to listen to him, to keep giving and never, ever stop. After childbearing I found the strain even more difficult. Firstly, my beauty was greatly diminished. Not just my body which everyone sees, but my most intimate areas were negatively affected. My perky breasts drooped, staring sadly at the ground. My nipples, which had been small and peony pink, became large and a depressing taupe. My tight, difficult to enter, vagina was loose, fistable even. My labia turned a brown the color of ruined meat, where they had once been a lovely rose pink. Where there had been a flower, a paradise, there was some sort of goblin. By giving my husband the most precious of gifts, I also.
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