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"What's the matter, never been out ofthe house?" Of course I have, it's just that..." Damn it now," Mom cursed at me. "You drop a bomb on me back a coupleof months ago asking my love and acceptance, now give me a chance to atleast try Beth."I froze. She called me Beth! I knew deep in my heart she was right butI was scared, not sure of what exactly whether it was rejection,ridicule, or allowing myself to be seen out there, but I was scared.Still I knew what I had to do."Are you sure?" I asked feeling my legs shaking."Yes, just a Mom and daughter weekend," she replied. "That is if youare ready for it." Yes." Good, I'll see you on Thursday October 20th Beth."We said our good byes and I changed and went to bed but couldn't fallasleep. So many things danced through my head as I lay there. Yes I hadbeen out many times as Beth but never for a long weekend and when Itraveled I always had some sort of a safety net. I knew Mom wouldexpect me to stay with her so there would be no turning back.. Several times I wondered if the silence was brought on by me staring or whether it was just me being paranoid. Either way I was on edge for some reason. It wasn’t like she was an alien or something. It’s just infatuation , I told myself. Don’t get any ideas because you know you would regret it. I needed to take my mind off it and so I asked her about her plans now that she had left school. “Well I want to go onto university and get a degree in psychiatry,” she explained quite formally. “I like the idea of figuring out why people do things.” “I always thought psychiatrists just attributed everything to sex.” I couldn’t help it. It just blurted out of mouth. The filter I had placed between my brain and my tongue clearly wasn’t working. In the micro second it took for her to respond I thought I had crossed some line already. Would Rory kill me just for that? Would she think I was some sort of pervert? “Pretty much,” she giggled. Phew! She thought it was funny. Her giggling finally.
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