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Iremembered HOW I thought. My thinking was more structured and welldefined and clear. Now, however, my mind felt extremely limited anddampened down, pushed into the mire and mush of a lowerintelligence.I was extraordinarily restrained from the higher reasoning levelsof adulthood.I WAS a little girl.Not just in body but in mind itself. The teachings and trainings ofmy former life lay without a thought of how to get them back. Iknew that they were gone. I sensed it and feeled it deeply but Icould not, could not within the limited senses of childhooddetermine a way in which to reach them. My old grownup mind waslost. I was still ME but I was a younger me. A me that hadn't gonethrough all the years of life and education that I knew hadtranspired before. I knew I was a grownup before. I knew it but Iwas unable to grasp it somehow.Every glance, every look, every idle thought and affection I'd hadtowards women was now stricken away from me like a hot boilingkettle of water, steaming it. I didn’t know whether to trust him after what he did to me in the kitchen. I could feel my heart rate quicken again at the memory. He looked up at me and gave me a smile. ‘Well Katie, it’s been a somewhat stressful evening for you. Is that about right?’ I nodded at him. ‘Okay, well I intend to change that. How do you feel about ecstasy?’ His grin got wider. I looked at him. ‘Ecstasy? I actually haven’t tried it before.’ This was quite surprising really, because I’d tried a lot of different drugs. For recreational purposes only, of course. ‘Well you have to try this!’ he winked at me. ‘I’m not really into pills, Lee. I’m not sure about all this.’ I was starting to get uncomfortable. ‘No problem, Katie. I have some crushed up. It’s just powder so you can dip your finger in and just taste it.’ He put a half pill in his mouth and swallowed it before he made his way over to the couch. He straddled my thighs and stood there looking at me. ‘You’ll love this stuff.’ With that he held a.
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