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I would often find her looking at me with a strange expression on her face. Our sex life never really got going again after her depression, and she would rarely tell me that she loved me anymore.When I tried to talk to her about our problems, she would often start babbling on so fast that I couldn't really understand what she was talking about. Often the subject she was talking about (normally things that I had done) would change so fast that I couldn't keep track of what she was on about either. The one thing I did learn was that she was extremely unhappy with me but I had no idea why. I just couldn't get her to tell me what I had done to upset her so much. I loved her with all my heart, but somehow I knew I was watching her slip away from me!Since the birth of our son I had noticed that Angel did not appear to be overly interested in playing mum anymore. She looked after the children just fine. But you know, there was something that told me, if the children weren't there it. Mainly, that means not before you are psychologically strong enough. Not before you feel there is enough distance between you and the recent past events. We cannot erase memories. We cannot rub out what has gone by but we can break its hold over us, we can take the sting out of the memories we carry and we can start over, to be the people we actually are once more, not the people others want to make us."The last phase is to pick up our lives again and start living. In practice, it is best to do this bit by bit instead of waiting until every single painful memory had been put to rest. So for example, when you are ready, you go to the shops. At first with Joseph then later, on your own. You pick up with friends. Get used to going out to the gym. You go back to work. When you are at work, you resume your duties bit by bit. Thinking about recovering from physical injury: it is a good picture of what is happening. The bone mends. Physiotherapy softens tight tendons and painful muscles..
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