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“Yeah, you’re Bud?” I answer. “Yup. Go ahead ‘n look around.” He tells me. “Girl, best stop playin with Harold and help a pay’n customer.” The teen pushes the rat-faced guy away and heads over to us. “I’m Tammy. If you have any questions I’m happy to help.” She motions to the nearest wall of sex toys. We slowly make our way around the room. Tammy explaining how stuff is used. In graphic detail. Often with an anecdote about a customer using it on her. Mom was scandalized by Tammy’s stories. We finish our tour around the room. I turn to my mom. “You will go pick out four toys. Something to fit your whore needs.” She looks me in the eyes. I can see that she knows this is her next test. Another step to her permanent status as mommy-whore. Part of her knew all along that today was about training her to accept her proper place. It feels like we look at each other for a while, but it was probably just seconds. She loses the test of wills and looks away first. Wandering off to pick something. Sooner or later he would see me naked or feel my body and he'd realise I had no tits and how skinny and sexless I was. I felt trapped in a mess of my own making."Shouldn't you be happy?" He said, looking at me strangely. "I am." No, it wouldn’t work." But you said…" Yeah but you're so good looking and so hot and I'm skinny and sexless and …" I don’t care." He said. "I don’t care what you look like." I've got no tits. I don't mean I've got small tits, I mean I've got no tits." I don't care. I like you. We're good together. It's not important." If he had lied and said that he thought I was beautiful or did anything other than acknowledge the reality and tell me he didn't care, it would never have gone any further. I knew what I looked like and there was no ignoring it or sugar coating it. I hated my body and I could never believe that Brian or anyone could like it. By telling me he didn’t care what I looked like it made me feel a lot better about everything.My First BoyfriendSo, I had.
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