Love that nothing could ever break down. Something that really could not be put into words. Something that even ‘I love you’ didn’t really express.With Jennifer, it was the deep connection of our souls. It reminded me of the wedding service where the words ‘the two shall become one flesh’ were said. That was my connection with Jennifer — we became one flesh. It was spiritual in addition to erotic and romantic.When Stephanie and I finally made love, it would be equally soul-searing, equally spiritual. In fact, it might even be more so. Jennifer and I had discussed it, including the idea of Jennifer as a surrogate. She didn’t take it badly at all; in fact, she had pointed it out to me. Stephanie and I could never marry and have children, but Jennifer and I could, and we planned to, some day.Then there was Birgit. I would never know for sure, but I suspected that same connection was there, unrecognized, unfulfilled. Even now, as I sat here lost in my own thoughts on a train speeding. She just her head down and pretended to do her work.I asked her cutely “So tell me, don’t you like all that?” She faked as if she didn’t hear me. I asked her again and she just said “Those things are not meant for me”. I said “Who is it meant for then?” She thought for a long time and said “young people like you”. I asked with a beating in my heart, “So you mean widows like you never enjoy sex?” She stopped her work and looked at my face, and I stared straight back at her face. For 2 minutes we only stared at each other. Then she looked down and away, (I was still staring into her eyes, body language of dominance).She quietly said “No, I never enjoyed all those things”. Now the very most instinctive answer I gave in my life. “Well Saru, I can help you with that”. She looked up with a most amazed look in her face and said “What are u trying to say”, I said “Well I am virgin and want to enjoy & learn sex, you are a widow who never enjoyed it, so we can help each other out”She first saw.
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