I think I am going to throw up. Can you help me getback to my place? It's not too far from here. And maybe if you are realnice, maybe Caramel will show you my nougats and what else is beneath thiscolorful candy shell." We went back to his place and after he puked his guts out, westarted to talk. Like me he had come here to escape the typical masculinestereotype his family was trying to place on him. He had a friend who hadleft his home town a year earlier and now was performing in a local dragrevue at a club called "Venus's Cantina". He/she had invited Caramel downto stay with him/her as soon as he could afford the bus fare to come down.To Caramel, San Francisco seemed like this mystical haven for the genderconfused. I then told him how I too had come here to escape my own sexualdemons and in turn find myself. He looked at me with a sad smile and tearsforming in his eyes. Soon somehow, I found myself lost in those big browneyes. I held him in my arms and we made love. He then limped back to his counter, motioning me to follow. He led me through some curtains and showed me a bare wall. Taking a deep breath, he pressed on one side of the wall and it moved, rotating about its center until there was a small passageway. He led me through the opening and pointed to the back of the small room where there was a shelf with several books. I was surprised at how few books he had, disappointed in how few had been saved. My friend Yan Shin had said this collection of old books was the largest in the city, perhaps the largest in China. I ran my hand over the binding of a few books, feeling the delicate but rough texture. The first few books I picked up and carefully opened seemed to be fiction books. I was hoping for something with poetry, so I picked out the oldest looking one and opened the cover. I couldn’t read the text, Yan Shin would later translate for me, but I could see it was poetry. I fumbled through my pockets and then handed the man several.
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