“So let’s get down to it. I have the prospective crew members for you to review, and then I want to go over your impressions of what you’ve learned so far.”Wilcox tossed over the first folder. “This is Ensign Todd Williams, formerly serving on a US Navy attack submarine, and is provisionally slotted as your XO. Like you, he’s an amateur radio operator, general class, and with an engineering degree from Northwestern. In his spare time he writes books about ancient naval history. He was being passed over for promotion because of a disagreement with his commanding officer who seems to have been concerned that his paperwork wasn’t ever on time, and that he had a bit of a drinking problem. We grabbed him at Pearl during a pickup where we found him nearly unconscious drunk and being carried out of a bar by a couple of his men.”Another folder was tossed. “Jeff Hendricks, he was lead engineer for the R&D team at Motorola until about six months ago. PhD from Stanford, undergrad at MIT, all. She kept that promise, Erik. The only thing that she neglected to tell me was that in order that no one hurt me again, no one would ever love me again. That was the trade. I could not allow anyone to become close to me. I remember when Madame would try to hold me and comfort me, but I would not allow it. I would allow Lilith to step into me and take over. She told me that she needed to do things to make certain that people would not be able to hurt me."At first, she spoke to me, but all too soon, she simply took over and I no longer remembered when she was in control. Part of me knew that I did not remember things like other people. That sometimes I would be lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and then, in the blink of an eye, I would be shoveling manure. The more I sensed my difference, the more I isolated myself. The more anger I kept inside me, the less other people tried to befriend me. I spent my days running errands or performing menial tasks and then I hid myself away in the.
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