But, I’m scared. I’m scared that you will think of me differently if I do this. I’m afraid you won’t be able to love me. I think it would kill me if I gave you everything and lost you at the same time. I don’t know how to ask this but I guess I just want to know if you could love me as your slave or would I just become some kind of object you owned and used.’ I let her hang for a few beats before I responded. ‘I love you too and I truly believe I will always love you. However, I will also use you. If you give yourself to me I will take full advantage of you. I will treat you like an object. I will abuse and embarrass you at times. I will make you do things that you’d never imagined doing and I will teach you to love all of it. By the time I’m done with you, you will be a very different person but I will still love you. I think the real question you should be asking is will you be able to love yourself. Will you be able to love that inner you you’ve kept so well hidden or will you be. ”She nodded and said, “I am closing up tonight. Why don’t you stay here with me afterwards, and I can help you understand this stuff?”“Thanks,” I said.“No problem,” she responds with a smile, “You can’t really understand this stuff by yourself.”I smiled and walked away to find new books, but I was puzzled by what she meant. I lingered around the library, trying to find a book that would keep my interest, but I just could not get my mind off of our conversation. Soon enough it was closing time, and everyone left except for her and me.I could not help but ask, “What did you mean earlier, about not being able to understand these books by yourself?”“I was not talking about the books, I was talking about the subject. Let’s sit down on this sofa,” she said.We sat down and she lightly kissed me, quickly, yet with passion. My mind was racing with excitement. I loved the experience; she was so beautiful, but why was she doing this?“What did you think of that?” she asked.Stunned, I said, “That.
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